she looked like the bat from fern gully.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
