ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
