then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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