Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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