I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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