I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
the liver wants what the liver wants
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Randomize
