Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Someone came in the potted fern
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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