Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Randomize
