Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
