I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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