So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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