Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
