I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
