so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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