To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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