now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
True strength comes from lack of pants
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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