I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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