it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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