u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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