How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
it's like iHOP with fire
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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