i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
