i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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