There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
