Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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