i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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