I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
