One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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