i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
