i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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