I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
