we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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