don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Randomize
