why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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