i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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