But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
