"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize