I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Floor bacon is actually really good
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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