Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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