Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
