I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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