my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Damn victory sex feels great
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
