I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
