Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
