Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
