is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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