I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize