11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
