I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
