i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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