how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
