You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
