just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
