Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
