And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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