Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
