What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
i now understand why vodka
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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