so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
