so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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