a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize