But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
