I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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