I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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