The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
