Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
