You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
