I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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