Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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