Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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