So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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