I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize