just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
