this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize