Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Randomize
