Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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