So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
